Yep... I'm the devil.

So yes, I've been through labour and I know how hard it is even when things go right. Well... Almost right. My labour wasn't exactly normal... But ANNNYWAYS... I was ranting today and made some very evil comments toward my sister in law. And yes they were mean... But they were mostly in jest. Of course I don't want things to go terribly for her or my nephew.

But I was made to feel really awful... And I don't think it was meant as an attack or anything like that... But even just reading my comments you could probably tell they weren't meant in 100% seriousness.

There has been a herculean effort made on my part and the rest of my family to make this girl feel welcome and loved. None of us are happy about the situation but we've been fighting against our own impulses to say anything or do anything that would hurt this girl or my brother.

So if I feel the need to lash out jokingly on a forum she'll never see who does that hurt? I understand that some people have had really bad experiences and maybe have had bad things wished upon them seriously... BUT IT WAS JUST VENTING!

If it keeps me from slapping her the next time she says something horrible and upsetting I'll gladly be the devil in the thread. But I wish people would have taken it for what it was. It was just venting and hyperbole. I'm not a sadistic bitch. If people knew what I'd put myself through for this girl to make her wedding special, if they knew all the hurt she's inflicted on me... Maybe they would forgive a moment's weakness of ranting...

But hey. I said those things. And yep, that makes me a bad person. I just want people to understand that it wasn't meant to be serious.

The story of life at the moment...

Soooo... I guess I'll make a real entry just to let anyone who blunders into this vortex of rambling know what's going on in my world.

Ryan is 7.75-ish months old and teething like crazy. He's very upset and doesn't want to eat, sleep, be held or be left alone. It's extremely frustrating but there's not a whole lot I can do for him right now.

On top of that our house is on the market so every spare moment is meant to be spent cleaning. It's causing some friction between Franky and I because A) I have a very hard time leaving Ryan to cry as I vacuum or whatever [I prefer to have Franky here so he can play with Ryan as I do the vacuuming/dishes/sweeping/etc or vice versa] and B) because I'm so bloody lonely and I really need time on Gaia or MSN to talk to people. Having a baby has made me feel really isolated and it's not helped by the fact that I can't drive. Even then I wouldn't trade Ryan for anything...

We have a potential buyer for the house... But the company is trying to screw us over for our new place... They're trying to refuse the lot we picked even though they told us before we could have it. And they've apparently raised the price of the model of house we're planning to buy by several thousand dollars. So now we're contemplating going back into the PMQ's... Which wouldn't be a complete catastrophe since it would help us pay off our debts but we escaped them because of the mold, mildew, asbestos...

All in all... Everything is going slightly awry. It could be worse of course. But it's been a rather arduous week.

I submitted to peer pressure because everyone was doing it

The title says it all... I'd been contemplating it and decided to take the plunge. Hopefully I won't just forget about it and it'll actually get used... I don't think there's anything interesting to add at this very moment. But I'm sure later there will be many incoherent and rambling posts that nobody will peruse. xD